Some changes:

Completely revamped my poem and artwork.

Suddenly had a new idea for poem: Here is the first draft and final product-

“Hearts and Wires”

He spent all his time

In his room

With his phone.

It opened his mind

To wonders he never knew

It was like a telescope

It showed him the world that he couldn’t see on his own

Instagram

It spread his ideas to the world

Twitter

It connected him to the world

Facebook

With the push of a button.

What an escape!

He just couldn’t stop using it!

He couldn’t.

Literally.

The wires-

They slithered out of his phone

And over time

They attached themselves to him

And they fed.

They fed on his time

They fed on his energy

They fed on him.

And slowly, he just stopped taking care

Of his studies

Of his social life

Of himself

He began to depend on the phone.

It was his new heart-

The vital organ

That took his blood

And gave it to the other parts of the body

Such as his Facebook, his Twitter, his Instagram

It had become his heart.

He didn’t notice until it was too late.

He tried to walk away

But the wires restrained him

Pulled him back

No matter how hard he tried.

But this time it would work

He told himself.

It had to.

He gripped the phone

That had grown over his chest

And he yanked out his heart

at one fell swoop.

It was painful

But it worked.

He began to feel blood flow to his real body parts

He was finally free.

He escaped from what originally brought him escape.

He ran outside-

But where was everyone?

He realised.

The other people were just as hooked-

The wires had gotten them too.

There was no other person to spend time with

Except

on the social networks.

It seemed like there was

Nothing else.

And the pain of yanking his heart out was getting overbearing.

So he slunk back to his room

Took the wires

And jammed them back into his heart.

The new poem makes use of imagery, as well as similes and metaphors. Perhaps it would work better as a short story though...

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My original artwork consisted of a drawing of a teenage boy who had a phone where his heart should've been attached by some wires/blood vessels. Only the phone was coloured and it was attached to a wooden controller (made of chopsticks) by coloured strings. Some areas for improvement were to increase the size and Mr Clive suggested that I do an artwork based on Da Vinci's "Vesuvius Man".


Here is the finished product: