First draft:
"My Best Friend"I tell him everything about me
He knows whatever I tell him
I feel lost when he is not with me
To me he is everything
If I am unsure I can talk to him
He seems to know it all
When I am with him
He updates me
On others
Not a very good first draft.
Poem title seems appropriate, but very common.
Second draft:
"My Best Friend"
I am the envy of my friends
They all wish they had a friend like mine.
When we are together,
I tell him everything-
where I've been
who I've met
what I've eaten.
He updates me as well
on others-
what they've eaten
who they've met
what they've eaten.
He seems to know it all.
I don't want to be with anyone else
but him.
Sometimes
he doesn't respond to me,
but all he needs
is to rest; to recharge.
When I am tired or upset
I can retreat to him.
I like to play with him
He can entertain and amuse me
for hours on end.
He seems to be able to do it all.
I really am the envy of my friends.
They all wish they had a phone like mine.
Second draft is much better. I just want to add some other points:
-indispensible, but not irreplaceable
-while others play outside, i stay inside to play with him
-when i meet up with him, his face lights up like a ______
When we are together,
I tell him everything-
where I've been
who I've met
what I've eaten.
He updates me as well
on others-
what they've eaten
who they've met
what they've eaten.
He seems to know it all.
I don't want to be with anyone else
but him.
Sometimes
he doesn't respond to me,
but all he needs
is to rest; to recharge.
When I am tired or upset
I can retreat to him.
I like to play with him
He can entertain and amuse me
for hours on end.
He seems to be able to do it all.
I really am the envy of my friends.
They all wish they had a phone like mine.
Second draft is much better. I just want to add some other points:
-indispensible, but not irreplaceable
-while others play outside, i stay inside to play with him
-when i meet up with him, his face lights up like a ______
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